So, the kids are home from school today...so far, so good. Nobody has been injured or insulted yet. I however, am in a state of sedated anxiety. I am loving being home again, and I really enjoy having the extra time for study, but all the things I didn't have time for before are taking up my time now and I don't have that much more time to study than I did before. Or so it seems. Jeff was trying to be so helpful last night around 8pm, "why don't you do a couple of hours now?" In my head I am screaming "because I am exhausted due to the large amount of clean clothing you and the children now have, the dinner you just ate that I stood for a little over 3 hours in the kitchen making, the lack of obstacles in your path when traveling from one room to the other, and the abatement of urine smells in all of the bathrooms, etc, etc, etc..." However what I said was, "thanks for your input" and smiled lovingly. I then took my carcass into the bedroom and prepared for an hour or so of Scrubs.
I am having such escalated anxiety because (caution:whining ahead) the classes are getting harder and we still only have a limited amount of time each term to get through everything. In class last Monday, a couple of students were diplomatically lamenting this fact to the prof. to which he icily replied "I know this sounds cold, but you're going to have to get used to it, it doesn't get any easier" then proceeded to tell us that the first exam we had, (which I thought was semi-killer) was sort of a 'gimme'. He used mainly "easy" questions so that we all got off to a good start and gained some confidence. No such charity will be extoled any longer. They should call this class "Extremely detailed microneurobiology and chemistry" I just don't know how I am going to remember all of the drugs, their actions, their indications, the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, the chemistry, and how this all works once introduced into the human body (we aren't all alike you know). I feel so out of my league. I would like my GPA to stay where it is, but I also really need to know this stuff! I wish I had paid attention better in undergrad sciences. I didn't think I would ever really use this stuff. So anybody out there in nursing school thinking you only need to know the Krebs cycle for the next exam, you're wrong!!!
I totally feel like a whiner, especially since I don't have to work anymore, but this is awful. I am actually kind of scared. So what am I doing? Blogging. Eh, it helps to vent a bit. I have 42 valentines to make today, quality time to spend with my kids, and I expect to get some stuff done and that will alleviate some of this, so that is all good. Oh, and nobody has had the evil bug that everyone else in Bradford County has had, so that is really good!! I had the Anna version, about 2 days of feeling like crap and thinking "uh-oh, here it comes" but that's it.
Alright, time to get my butt in gear and get at this day. The spewing and self-pity are over (for a while anyway:).
So well put what so many of (really) think! I wish had something profound to say, or anything at all for that matter, but I got nothin'. Except maybe to say "I feel your pain (well part of it anyway), on a daily basis!".
ReplyDeleteMaybe after the initial clean and need to do at home you'll be able to spend more concentrated time at your studies. (If we stop having snow days ever!)
ReplyDeleteI think your prof sounds evil. If people are complaining maybe he should take a look at the complaints instead of saying "suck it up!" I don't like profs like that!
But the bright side is that you will be done with this class before you know it! Look at how many you have under your belt already!! One day at a time, friend. One day at a time.
Let me just say that I so admire you for doing what you're doing. I know what it feels like to get so frustrated with your studies to want to give up....honestly, it was recently suggested that maybe I should go back to school for an actual degree. I entertained the thought for like two seconds before I decided I would only go back if I felt like it would be really beneficial and I really, really wanted to because just the thought of making myself sit down, study, test, case studies, essays....aghhh no freak'n way. I'm done for now and I so don't want to go back. It is frustrating, it is hard, however it makes success and victory that much sweeter. So stay focused on the goal..you can do it! I know you can!!!!
ReplyDeletePS - I love the jars of clay!!
Thanks so much for all your support guys! After my pathetic whining I developed a f#$@ it attitude and determined that that book and all of its information didn't have nearly the power over me that I imagined, I have the brain after all. It just takes some repetition and some time spent on it.
ReplyDeleteI am a huge fan of your slideshow. :)
ReplyDeleteaww shucks Anna, *downward gaze and foot shuffle*, thanks!
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